Realization
by WangKairu
Summary: this is how i imagined should happen after stefan left in 3x18, i stelena


Author's note: this is the first time I ever wrote a fanfiction, but stefan's face before he left just totally got me, and i cried so hard when he left in pain, i had to do something about it. Paul is so talented

* * *

Elena walked into Stefan's bedroom and sighed. He held a wooden stake in his hands, deep in thought. He looked up at her and she spoke. "Hey"

"Hey"

"You haven't said much since you got back home."

"I'll be a ball of sunshine once Damon gets the last stake from Alaric…I promise." He responded jokingly.

She chuckled softly. "You really scared me today. You wouldn't have survived if you went up against Klaus on your own, you know that right?" walking toward him.

He nodded. "You don't have to worry about anymore."

"Why?"

"Because he's not worth it," Elena lifted her eyebrow in surprise. "All this time and energy I've wasted hating him, it was for nothing. It's done, it's over, and we lost. I'm right back where I started."

Elena shook her head. "That's not true, yeah, Klaus dragged you through hell, but you came out the other side. You beat him by being better than him."

"Yeah, but look what I lost in the process…" looking incredibly sad at Elena for a moment before he stood up and slowly started to walk towards her." Hating Klaus was easy. It allowed me to ignore everything that was happening around me, everything I let slip away. Now I've got to deal with that."

"Stefan…"

"No, no, just admit it, admit it to me, Elena, I know you don't owe it to me, but I just need to hear you say it."

"I can't, because it's not true, Stefan, I never stopped loving you."

"I know that, I know you didn't, even though I did everything possible to push you away." Stefan turned away from Elena "It's my fault. It's all my fault, this is all my fault."

"Stefan, what are you talking about?" Elena said, unable to understand what he means.

"I'm talking about the fact that you're still in love with Damon."

A look of confusion crossed her face. "What, no, Stefan I was just…"

"Hey…" He gently touched her cheek. "I love you, I will always love you" Elena looked so relieved from his words and admitting that he still loves her "But I just want you to look me in the eyes and tell me you don't feel something for him."

Elena was quiet for moment, not sure what to say. And that's when Stefan knows that his fear had come true. She looked Stefan deep in the eyes. "…I don't know what I feel"

Stefan looked at her for a few more times before he grabbed his stake and walked out of the room. The pain in his eyes is so visible, pain that she made him feel, pain from losing the only girl he ever loved.

* * *

_Later in Elena's bedroom_

She doesn't know how she can let Stefan just walk away like that, knowing he is in so much pain from what she said or couldn't say, she hate herself for not being able to tell Stefan that she does not feel something for Damon. But she also doesn't want to lie to him either, she really doesn't know what she feel for Damon, she just doesn't. No longer want to think about it, she let herself go to sleep, but Stefan's face when he walked away earlier keep coming back to her mind as she fall asleep.

The next morning, Elena is woken up by a doorbell very early in the morning, since she is the only one living in the house now; she had to go get it.

Standing before her is Stefan, in worse shape than she ever saw him in. It is so clear he spent the entire night in pain from the thought of losing Elena. The sight of him like this hurt her so badly. Before she gets to say anything at all, Stefan speaks.

"Elena, I spent the entire night thinking about the three of us. I just want you to know that I have always loved you and will always love you, but if you love my brother, then I won't stand in your way. You and Damon are the most important people to me and I want both of you to be happy no matter what. But I would be lying if I say I can live without you the rest of my existence, because I really can't, I have no idea how to live without you, and the love we had, so I'm choosing this." Stefan takes his ring from his finger, throw it on the ground like Isobel did, and starts burning immediately. But Stefan did not scream in pain the way Isobel did, because for him, it is the only way for him to end the never ending pain.

"Goodbye, Elena" were his final words, as Elena watch in horror as the one person that loved her more than anyone in the world slowly turn into a pile of ash as she screamed "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…"

* * *

Elena woke up in her bedroom screaming and sobbing as she realized she just had a nightmare that felt really real. She can still remember the pain as she listened to Stefan say those words that breaks her heart, knowing how much pain he is in, and seeing Stefan dying because of her and finally realizing that Stefan is her true love, and she will only ever love Stefan shatter her heart in her dream, and she can still feel in pain in her heart, which only become number as she realized it is a dream, not reality.

* * *

This is the state Stefan found her in. Stefan was just outside her house, debating whether to go see her or not, he really missed falling asleep with her. And even though he cannot do that anymore, he still missed the peaceful look on her face when she is asleep. And that is when he heard her scream. A rush of fear shot through him as he run at vampire speed to her room through the window, expecting Rebekah to come torture her, but find a sobbing Elena in her bed.

She didn't even notice him coming in being so deep in her thought until he said "what's wrong, I just heard you scream."

"Stefan?" Elena said, and then launched herself in his arms, sobbing even more.

This caught Stefan in surprise, as he held her lightly as if she is a stranger who'd mistaken him for someone else. After the initial surprise, Stefan holds his arms around her might tightly. It toke a long time for Stefan to calm her down before she can finally stop the sobbing enough to tell Stefan about her dream.

Stefan smiled sadly "I have to admit, I thought of that as I left my room earlier when you confirmed my worst fear"

Elena snapped her head up to Stefan, looked at him intensely "No, Stefan, please don't do that, I can't lose you."

"Don't worry; I decided that as long as you need me, then I will stay to keep you safe, even if you loving my brother and being with him will hurt me beyond words." Stefan said, trying to compose his expression.

"No, that's not what I meant when I said I can't lose you" Elena said desperately.

"Then what do you mean?" Stefan said confused.

"My dream taught me something. And that is I love YOU, YOU are the one I cannot live without. When you died in my dream, I was devastated, I never felt so much pain in my life, I woke up sobbing because I realized you are my life, and my life would mean nothing if I lost you, and I can still fell the devastation from my dream, it just felt so real, that pain, and I know I can never be without you again" Elena said, sobbing again.

"What about Damon then? Don't you have feelings for him as well?"

"Yes, but I have come to realize that is not love, I care about him like I care about my brother, Bonnie, like my family and friends, but I'm not in love with him. I'm in love with you, like I always have been. That one time, in front of my house, I only kissed him because I just sent Jeremy away, and feeling extremely guilty about it, I was very alone, and you were not there, so when Damon kissed me, it felt like it was you who was comforting me again, and I kissed him back. But I have regretted it ever since, because he is not you, it is you that I love and in love with, it is you that I cannot live without, you are the purpose of my life" Elena said through her sobs.

Stefan is at loss of words, all he can do is hold Elena closer to him as both of them shed tears of joy of finally be both admitted to each other that they still love each other; finally everything seems normal again, like before he left town.

Stefan spends the rest of the night there, holding tightly to Elena as both of them fall asleep peacefully. It is the best night of sleep for both of them since Stefan left town as they know they will never be apart again.

* * *

The End

please read and review, this is my first fanfiction, so please be kind

stelena forever


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